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Men in divorce face a cultural bias in our society and in the divorce courts. Men are assumed to be the offending party in divorce – even in no-fault divorce cases. Men are also generally expected to fork over large amounts of money to support the children who will remain in custody of the soon to be ex-wife. In some places the man is also expected to pay spousal support or alimony.
What is to be done about this? Many men these days are becoming the custodial parent and yet this still does not square with the societal bias. One of the biggest problems is that most men who read this article have also bought into this and their expectations for the divorce are low. They have bought into the societal place for men and their responsibilities after divorce. Perhaps they have bought into the idea too that the divorce is their fault and they carry that guilty too. They do not really believe they can come out of divorce with what they need for a great new life: stop it!
If you are going to win your divorce you have to get a winning mindset. You have to get your head around the fact that the blame is not yours. If you are divorcing because the two of you got out of step, then recognize that there are two of you responsible. I'm not going to name a long list of maritime problems that may have separated you, but realize that things happened in a marriage. Usually things that break you up happen over time and before you realize it these things are out of control. Whatever the reason, whomever you consider to be at fault: stop it!
Divorces are won and lost right at this point, you need to believe that you will win. Get your head into the game and resolve to get the divorce settled on terms that will let you start your new life on your terms, with the things you need from your marriage to make your new life work. It is important that you learn all about the divorce process so you can manage your lawyer and manage your divorce. Remember, your lawyer may be good, but no matter how good he or she is, no one will care more about the outcome of your divorce than you.
Find a lawyer who will work with you and help you implement a winning strategy. You may need to interview several lawyers, in fact you may want to interview several as part of your strategy. Your lawyer is your representative to divorce court and to your wife's lawyer and you should be able to work smoothly together.